April 18th: When Fuck Everything Becomes the Real Pivot…

I honestly have very little to write about, other than that the sun came peeking through today while I was jumping from one CAT tool (translation software) to the next.

We spoke to Caroline on the phone last night and I won’t go into any detail but questions of artistic destiny and overall existentialist dread in the sometimes difficult lives we lead came up, aside from life shit like worries about her apartment for the next academic year, summer jobs and a dachshund who may need a diaper.

I have been immersed in reading in the moments I can steal away from work, but I want to tell you, and I want to thank my donors in particular, because launching that Henry Miller project is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. It has given me a purpose and a sense of happiness I can’t even convey here.

On the verge of total failure and down and out in Paris, Miller himself made a growth spurt of sorts when he said “fuck everything”. This was a double entendre for sure, as in his debut and breakthrough book, Tropic of Cancer, he, or rather his alter ego would fuck everything in sight but he also meant fuck everything as in fuck everything that went before, i.e. the true Modernist impulse and departure from realism, traditional conventions, plot and fiction itself. The fuck everything, his fucktion, Tropic, became the pivot for his literary launch.

By starting that http://www.gofundme.com/henrymillerrocks I had a fuck everything moment myself, by following my dreams of writing that book, even though I’m an independent scholar and will need to finance a book like that myself. And with you.

Anyone who has donated and will donate to this campaign, I will include in what I see as a need for a Henry Miller revival for us all.

If you feel like life is a treadmill and you want to get off of there, come join me and say fuck everything because that is the first step to individuation and getting away from the many pressures and expectations our jobs, our partners, our kids and life in general have of us.

As women especially, we always put the needs of others before our own. That has to stop. More women need to say fuck you to make their voices heard and walk away to follow their dreams. Men do that much more easily but maybe that’s because men do most of the fucking and women always get fucked.

And, oh, yes, fuck Bill O’Reilly, too.




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