March 6th: Life on My Terms? Do I dare?


Today I wasn’t working the conflict and abuse queue as I’m translating a film script for a Dutch film maker. It was a nice reprieve and I must say, I feel blessed because workwise things have been happening for me from a freelance point of view, so I haven’t had to aggressively look for work as the work was and has been coming to me.

Leaving the steady gig I had at Berkeley in 2014, my ambition was to find a company that would hire me fulltime and while I feel I have been close to getting hired by freelancing, this weekend I realized this is not the utopia I’m hoping for anymore. Yes, sure, it’s great to be part of a company again and drink the kool-aid (but not really) and work nights (but not really) but in America, and especially if you work for startups, you’re signing your life away and even trying hard is never enough.

That said… I’ve felt quite committed to the company I’m working for now (and have been working for, for more than a year, being flexible and working in different teams). I know I’ve had a lot to contribute in terms of best practices as far as localization goes and I have pitched that to the company as a formal role. It has been absorbed and seems to have been welcomed and appreciated, but on Friday, I got a sweet freelance offer from another great company, which, due to my loyalty to the company I’m working for now, I shared with the company I’ve been working for (and have been writing about in these blogs)… and well, that was like throwing a stone down a deep well but not even the faintest echo seemed to be coming back.

So… it’s a free market and loyalty is a virtue you should probably practice when it comes to people you want to support, but companies are unfeeling things and people, no matter their contributions, are always dispensable.

This means I should continue to live my life on my own terms and for god’s sake, I’ve passed fucking fifty, so it’s high time to do my own thing, forget about gaining that job with company x, y or z, just be a contractor and COO (career officially over) ad infinitum, and, at the same time, preserve my freedom.

I was going to go into work for more conflict and abuse tomorrow, and I will, but I think I’ll put in half a day as I have other, and more important work to do than waste my hours on people/our online members who prefer hate speech to being good neighbors.

Life is what you make of it, I’ve always told my kids, so why am I not living by my own mottoes and high standards? Because, yes, there is always that damn living to earn and their college bills to pay off, (and, well, once we lose health insurance through job loss and have to buy health insurance under the new GOP plan, we’re truly fucked).

I’m not complaining, or rather, I should end with: “it’s still worse for the men at sea” (Martha Gellhorn quote). I’d add to that: it’s still worse for the Latino families who are being torn apart right now because this country has not only been taken over by hate speech but by an all-out agenda of hatred for anyone who’s not white, male or straight. #Resist.

PS I have no word of the day, but since my “bag of dicks” was something of a success with some of my readers, I did notice the word “dick hole” on social media today. How fitting if you really want to make someone feel really small, as it is, without a doubt, one of the smallest holes on one’s body, aside from skin pore, which is not a real hole. TMI. Sorry. I’ll try to be more inspirational and less vulgar to all of you tomorrow.

Send some inspiration my way and if you want to share a word, I’ll put it up and discuss it!

Love to you all.

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