A is for Anal Bleaching: Which One is the Fairest in the Land?


Botox and colonic irrigation are old news by now; the new rage is anal bleaching and honestly, I didn’t want to go here but it’s a California phenomenon so I need to say something about it.

Sometimes the bleaching of one’s anus is, after twenty years of use, required, especially if you’re a porn star and you need to go full exposure with your naughty bits. However, apparently, anal bleaching is also becoming a fad among people who care about the status of their anal affairs—I find this a bit anal in itself but whatever: it’s a free country where consumer is king and Californians don’t want to grow old/up. Pink Cheeks Salon in Sherman Oaks (Los Angeles) marketed it for the first time and they can douse your nether parts with Clorox in their shop or you buy their self-help package to try it in the privacy of your home. My hunch is you need an assistant for that —can you imagine finding a Task Rabbit for that anal favor?

Caveat: the stuff may cause cancer but if you get cancer up your anus, then at least there is the comfort that if you do and go to heaven, you will pass those heavenly gates with a pearly white ass. And well, if you go to hell, not to worry, your backsides will be darkened up in no time again.

Some people claim that bleaching your anus feels like a rebirth. Never tried it myself but I find this hard to relate. I would find far greater pleasure in bleaching my bathroom bits.

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One Response to A is for Anal Bleaching: Which One is the Fairest in the Land?

  1. Dagmar says:

    Is that for real? – it is so sick ….. what else can you do with bleach? Soon enough we’ll have the option of coloring the creamy whites around our pupils

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