My Amazon adventure is over. I can blame myself and I can blame the company but when there is a disagreement like this, both parties are usually at fault, mistakes are made at both ends, but I can honestly say that I may be most disappointed in myself. I have never lasted this short, working for any company and I let my other job go to take on this opportunity. Although that other job was a dead end, in many ways…
In what I now see as bout of temporary insanity, I believed Amazon was my ticket out as well as my new professional destiny, but in the end, the sacrifices, financial and personal, didn’t outweigh the professional gains. And life is too short to put your job first.
So I quit. Boohoo.
I am, however, also a little sad that Ireland never happened. I liked what I saw and I wish I could have made it happen. Even for a few months.
Life lesson learned. You’re never too old for that, right?
The up side is that I don’t have to leave Caroline behind for her last 2 years of HS. Those years wouldn’t have come back so maybe that was tugging on my unconscious. Who knows. I am not sure she was happy when I told her the news about me staying in California. I think I let her down. And I will be mending fences as we speak.
So life goes on.
I’ll feel a little bit like a fraud for having started this blog but I should use it as my sounding board with the world. Uncorked really means that the cork has come off for me professionally and I hope it’s not a champagne bottle, i.e. that I will be all over the place and spreading myself thin, but that under that cork there is an aging wine with promise and potential. That I can grow professionally nonetheless and that I may use certain talents (teaching, writing, translating) in the most profound way possible. Maybe I should become one of those sleezy motivational speakers, or finish that historical novel I started. Kickstarter, here I come.
So I ate my potato and did not keep it for when famine might strike us.
Life happens, merde se passe, we’re healthy and we’re together. Life is good, especially considering that I will never have to use a pc again.
That said: I am looking for work, and if all else fails, I will start that Airbnb or go around with a pink moustache on my bumper (suddenly this sounds borderline pornographic).
I failed in many ways and may have disappointed people, but I hope I can make it up in the days, months and years to come. After all, failure is a stepping stone to success.
I will write you again when I have better news to share. Thanks for listening and supporting me with your unconditional love. And that applies especially to Jon, my husband. He rocks. But most of you knew that already.